When they are good they are very good, and when they are bad, it is all my fault…?

I have a feeling this is a very normal parenting trait, but something I am noticing that I am doing more and more.

When Ben has done something brilliant, or the fact his speech and language is so good I pass this off as something that either others have taught him, or that he has just picked up.  I don’t think I have taken credit for anything, well except when he has a tantrum…

And there is the thing, as soon as he behaves badly, or does something I would prefer him not to (how politely I have put that!) I blame myself, it is me not being consistent, or giving in too easily, or not setting boundaries.

Like all parents I have good times and not so great ones with being a parent, and as his sole parent I do feel an enormous pressure that I will break  with my failings.  The days where I am so tired from work, from life, from being up at 6 a.m. every day (or 5 a.m. if I am lucky) and I break my own rules of being a parent, I say no and then, well O.K. to another biscuit.  I beat myself up at the fact that I do sometimes shout at him, I know it is pointless and achieves nothing.

See I could sit here all day typing my failings as a parent, stuff I do wrong.  But ask me what I am good at?  Erm…

I am not even being modest, the stuff I am not bad/wrong at is more luck than judgement I think.

Or maybe it is just fear, fear of saying stuff I think I am doing well, only for Ben to do something and prove me wrong!

And then we can more swiftly past the nature/nurture stuff.

Phew this parenting stuff is hard sometimes when I think about it…someone pass one of the last creme eggs there please?

 

1 Comment

  1. HookySpelooky
    7 April , 2012 / 8:35 pm

    It’s either perfectly normal, or I just happen to feel the same way. I hate being snouty, but sometimes she pushes all the buttons and there’s no other reaction in me than to act like a child myself.

    But you should take credit for the good things. He won’t learn something by doing it just once, it’s the consistency and repetition. So he might do something the first time with someone else, but then he’ll do it again and again to show you because as much as it doesn’t feel like it at times, he just want to make you proud.

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