The riots are not my fault…

We are all so desperate to find someone or something to blame for the riots and the complete mindless violence that we witnessed on tv that I do worry that the politicians and a large part of society has rather lost the plot.

So yesterday it was the turn of us single mothers to be blamed, oh no hang on a minute, no sorry it wasn’t actually OUR fault it was the feckless fathers (again) who are to blame….BUT…

See dear politicians and media when you blame the feckless fathers and say that the children of them are the ones rioting, causing our great nation to be in disarray, that these children have no respect or fear do you know who you are actually pointing the finger at? Me.

As yes there is no father so I am the only parental influence on my child so as he is obviously going to turn out to be a thug, with no values, who has no respect for anyone, will go and loot, riot and basically has his life written off, will I give up now?

Ah…but you see here is the thing, it is a funny odd thing, maybe society and a certain Mr Cameron need a quick reminder though, lots of us single mothers, in fact a very large proportion of us, actually maybe even most of us worry every single day how to make sure our child not only survive but are outstanding citizens in this world.

We do this by basically giving up most of our lives in order for our children to have the best life they can, so we can fill any gaps that are left by the absent fathers. We read and talk to others we ponder every day at some point of how to explain to a little boy that there is no father. And what do we get in return for this?

From you Mr Cameron we get to be the worst hit by the benefit cuts, we are stuck in a place where unless we have a very rich ex paying large maintenance or as Ruth showed on her recent post ‘What its like to live on benefits’ can earn £50,000+ will be in recept of some benefits and have to be so grateful for that AND be reminded that we are not a real part of society.

It is us Mr Cameron, the ones who are ‘left’ raising our children to take part in your Big Society, trying to balance working so that we are seen to be trying at least to not just sit on benefits watching our wide screen tv, with raising a respectful, happy, well balanced child.

But just a final point, for many of us single parents out there that is not enough, whether it be that little chip on our shoulder, (I polish mine every day) the need to show our children we were not willing to just survive, the need to help others, or the fact we will not be shoved into a box or ‘single parent, never mind’ but we are actually doing extraordinary things.

We are starting up new parent and toddler groups & a new business, because you know we had 5 minutes spare, we are running services for other lone parents, we are using our skills to fit in with our children, we are proving to society that there is more to us that a young single parent through our writing, we pass on our knowledge and support other lone parents.

So I ask you, do not judge me or my child, do not blame us, do not write off his future. He is going to be amazing, just wait and see.


Edited 28th August 2011 – Following on from writing this article the following campaign has been launched
Single Parents Are Brilliant


  1. 12 August , 2011 / 9:13 am

    Very well said. There are many influential and famous people who were brought up by single parents. Tom Cruise, Samuel L Jackson, Demi Moore, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton …to name a few who all doing very well for themselves.

  2. Isaac_elijahmum
    12 August , 2011 / 11:26 am

    Well said! I am Fed up of seeing comments blaming us parents for these ludicrous riots in my twitter time line. As I said yesterday if my Son ever does anything so horrific, it will certainly not be because I’m a bad Mother! Or in the eyes of the government “a lone parent!”

  3. 13 August , 2011 / 12:53 am

    In politics speak ‘here, here’. Obviously the Government needs someone to blame and we seem the easy target. They clearly have done deep analysis of all of the suspects arrested, analysed them and come out with the stats that all of those arrested come from single parent families? (Probably not hey!).

  4. 18 August , 2011 / 8:18 pm

    Very well said!! I had a “feckless father” myself and I grew up just fine, thanks to having a wonderful mum and fantastic family I have never ever felt like I missed out. Keep doing what you’re doing – you are doing AMAZINGLY! xx

  5. 29 August , 2011 / 11:52 am

    awesome post. I am on the other side of the world and whilst we do not have the drama and angst of riots, there is still a lot of similar sentiment.
    the bandwagon here at the moment is that single parents don’t want to work and are therefore a burden on the taxpayer and need to be ‘moved off benefit”.
    I’d write to the PM to complain but since I have 3 jobs I don’t really have time to construct an email:)

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