Prior to the last 6 months, the main place I would look at images of other women was in crappy celebrity magazines.  And although they are full of so and so has got fat (they haven’t) so and so has lost their baby weight 27 minutes after giving birth (they didn’t, well maybe only if in those 27 minutes a surgeon helped.)

And then I started using the health & fitness boards on pinterest, and this is where I first saw about Crossfit.

And even though I didn’t realise it at the time, my idea of what women could look like slowly began to change.  The more I read about Crossfit and looked at images of Crossfit women doing the workouts or talking about their achievements the more I realised that the images I once thought of what a women (me?) should look like were actually way off anything that either I could want or achieve through eating a healthy diet of food and exercising and being strong.

The moment it hit me that my brain is (slowly) changing was when I saw this image on a very famous workout clothing companies website Thin

It was so different from the images I am used to seeing in workout clothes, and not something I aspire to. How can you aim to do 100kg dead lifts without your body having the strength, and in order to have that strength, you need to have a body full of muscles. And squatting with those thighs? Now O.K. I totally accept that not ALL women (very odd though) want to do Crossfit, and heavy lifting.  But a body based on what it can do, has to be a better role model that one that looks ‘good’ in clothes on a cat walk?  Doesn’t it?

As usual though it is so much easier to talk about this based on other people, rather than apply it to yourself.  My first real noticeable change for me from starting Crossfit has been my shoulder line. No more is it flat, but has ridges and lines and muscles shaping it. Doesn’t really look like my reflection, but its not going anywhere so I had better get used to it, and appreciate that those muscles mean I add more black circles to the barbell.

This week I did something that 7 months ago I never dreamed I would achieve, I went and bought size 10 jeans.  Did it fill me with loads of joy? Nope, not really even a flicker of feeling I had achieved something   And the reason?

The same reason I am throwing away the scales, the numbers don’t mean anything.  And yes I am probably being very hard on myself, and I do possibly need to stop and think I have worked to get to where I am, but all I can now see is the future and what I want to become.

When will I feel achievement? When I can do any of the following

  • handstand
  • unassisted kipping pullup
  • muscle up
  • many push ups
  • and a snatch without falling on my arse and throwing the barbell 😉

Those are the things I will be proud of my body for, not having a label that says size 10

 

 

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