I have a confession – Fussy Eaters Support Club

I have been round and round with this one, ignore, deal with, ignore, deal with…and now it is face it.Ben is 3 and the only things he eats at home – (nursery is a different story) are

  • Chicken fingers
  • Fish Fingers
  • Asda alphabites
  • Baked beans
  • Bread sticks
  • French Toast
  • Cheerios
  • Rice Crispies
  • Toast
  • Frutapura
  • Yoghurt
  • Cream Crackers

That is it, well of course given the chance any amount of chocolate, crisps, cake etc.I did weaning by the book (not baby led, didn’t have the nerves for that), with home made purees, progressing to various dinner, chicken casseroles with veg, spaghetti bolognaise with veg. he started to be fussy at around a year and went down hill from that point to where we are now.His food refusal goes to ‘treat’ food too, like ice cream and squash, he only drinks water.He was in nursery full time from 6 months until just over 2, then a 6 month break and he is at a different one 2 days a week now.  He doesn’t eat a full range at nursery but will eat fruit pieces, various meals and the little sod darling ate a WHOLE Christmas dinner this year, turkey, potatoes, veg the whole lot.  When they told me I just stood staring in complete disbelief.At the end of last year we did a mini-mind course of healthy eating for children and families, it was great and there was a section of each week where we did food tasting, he did get that he needed to at least lick the food to get a sticker, so he barely let his tongue touch the fruit/veg and he got a sticker.  He is not silly, not one bit.But…he is happy, healthy, growing, bright, alert and starves off scurvy with frutapura pouches.  So for the last few months I have chosen to ignore the non eating at home.  It is clearly a control issue with him, as in recent weeks he sussed at nursery if he didn’t eat his lunch/tea he got bread and butter and so he was refusing and getting it.  But they have twigged and are refusing him this now (with my agreement)He isn’t a big eater, never has been since a baby with milk and would go without food rather than eat something he doesn’t want.  He eats a lot at breakfast of cheerios/rice crispies and I think is then often full so isn’t bothered about lunch.3 months ago I bought the Gina Ford fussy eaters book and I have to admit I read the first few pages, felt guilt, rubbed the chip on my shoulder and it is gathering dust.So what should I do?  Do I face this and start cooking other food basically destined for the bin? He is a very black and white child, not room for grey if his mind is made up then that is it.  He can dig his heels in as far as me, it is exhausting.But I feel society expects me to tackle this as it is not right he doesn’t eat.  But a large part of me thinks that he will grow out of it, but will that only be if I tackle it head on?Not to play the single parent card but, well with no support at home it is just him against me and no one ever wins.Anyone been there and got results?Fussy Eaters Support Club

7 Comments

  1. Mammywoo
    27 March , 2011 / 5:50 pm

    I would be really interested to see the replies and THANK YOU for being so honest! Addy is 1 next week and since being ill he will only eat hand held food which is because of the Totseat, before we had that all he would eat is mango and screamed blue murder any time the high chair even came out.Now we are managing to get him in the highchair, guided steps using the Totseat but refuses anything remotely healthy.He will eat sausage, smiley faces and fruit.I’ve tried and failed with so many other options, I just don’t know what to do.At least he is eating now but what he does eat is usually un healthy as he screams blue murder and refuses point blank everything else.We said this lunch time how worried we were about it after once again he refused veg, fish and strawberries.He’s living on sausage and chicken nuggets!Hope you get the help you need and thanks again xLexy

    • 27 March , 2011 / 6:01 pm

      The basic idea of not offering any alternative is great in theory, but how many meals do you let them refuse before you give them something/anything? And believe me he would survive on crackers & bread sticks for days. He near enough does already!I am really hoping someone who has been in as bad a situation as me will be along to say we tried this and it worked, as so many people who have children who refuse 1 thing say “Oh I know what it is like” when they don;t (rubs chip on shoulder again)

  2. 27 March , 2011 / 7:16 pm

    Been there (except the Gina Ford bit). My son is 3 and 4 months. He was picky, narrowed it down to basically nothing. Wouldn’t try anything new. Hated any vegetables. He has a fish intolerance (no fishmongers). I don’t eat meat. It was becoming a nightmare. He would refuse things he’d usually eat. Then he just seemed to turn a corner. Last week he complained because he hadn’t got enough broccoli! Keep offering veg, will he eat tom ketchup? I found that a good way – allowing broccalli/carrots dipped in and then ‘forgetting’ the ketchup. Reduced between meal snacks to the minimum to ensure he was hungry? Last week he ate rice at nursery. Post weaning, he has absolutely refused it. It’s a pain making stuff that doesn’t get eaten but I pushed on anyway, you just never know. Law unto themselves. Good luck

    • 27 March , 2011 / 7:31 pm

      Thanks for the advice & support :)He won’t eat ketchup – I have offered it thinking as you say it is a good con! But I think I am going to try mashed potato on the side even, he knows what is in the alphabite things is potato so it has potential for acceptance! Fab on the broccalli – I dream of such moments 🙂

  3. AndiePandie
    30 March , 2011 / 4:11 pm

    We’ve gone through fussy stages….no where near as stubborn as Ben though and deep down I know my 2 love their food too much to stay fussy for long….however, when it comes to the not offering alternatives things what I tend to do is make sure they have somethingI know they’ll eat every other day….so then at least they’re not going to starve. Also, if I’m getting them to try new things I usually put it 1/2 and 1/2 on a plate of things I know they like…certainly Thomas now knows that he HAS to try the new thing too…and will generally decide it’s his new favourite.I don’t give them something else if a meal is refused though…although as Rose is still quite young I do give her some readybrek after her bath so she’s not going to bed hungry…Thomas though, nope, he has to wait til morning. I cook one meal for all of us, although definitely choose T&R friendly foods, and totally refuse to get into cooking different for everyone.Sounds easy though doesn’t it :o(Andie x

  4. Rachel
    19 March , 2012 / 10:09 pm

    Hi I’m so glad I’m not alone my daughter is 4 and has been a fussy eater. Since she was 2
    For the last week I have cut out all the chocolate crisps etc and been putting veggies on her plate she has hated it going mad refusing to try them, if she didnt eat her tea i didnt give her anything else we have made progress this week tho, she put one in her mouth & chewed it 🙂 no screaming or shouting. Hopefully we have cracked it

    Last week she would not even have them on her plate today she was calm & put one in her mouth and chewed it 🙂

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